After All….what are friends for?

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“Best” does not mean “only.”

“Safe” does not mean “solely.”

“Affection” does not mean “passion.”

“Difficult” does not mean “rationed.”

“Sacrifice” does not mean “gladly.”

“Painful” does not mean “badly.”

“Able” does not mean “easy.”

“Loving” does not mean “needy.”

Confused

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You led him.

He followed,

Right to where we thought he wouldn’t go.

This life here

Is borrowed

But his children still call this earth their home.

You say that

You see us

So I wonder why it seems you just don’t care.

Birthdays and

Graduations

For them will not have their father being there. 

Aesthete

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His ears perked up, or so they said,

And shortly, he was out of bed.

Darkness shone; he grabbed a candle,

And softly, he slipped on his mantle.

He tiptoed, whispering, across the floor,

His eyes and ears searching for more.

The birdsong echoed yet again,

And legend tells what happened then.

His parents asleep, with a snore and a sigh,

Didn’t hear the door bid him goodbye.

And gripping his socks and boots in hand,

He louder heard the woodland band.

On were shoved socks and boots ever careless

And, soon, he tripped across the terrace.

The woods were calling, but he didn’t know

The dangers that called from long ago.

The loam was soft, the stars were dark,

Still he heard the call from in the bark.

His eyes made sure each moment was savored,

And curiosity made sure his candle never wavered. 

His tramping steps from clumsy feet

Went patter against the forest’s beat.

It’s sad to say he never found the bird

That started the song he originally heard.

For though he chased the calling woodnote,

He woke, in bed, still in his cap and coat.

Dead Lovers

(CONTENT WARNING: This poem covers graphic content as narrative, read at your own discretion. Posted just as good poetry, not in support of anything else.)

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“She walks in beauty like the night”

Nay, she is the very moon.

Her translucent face that gives a fright

Doesn’t leave us soon.

We stand in joy-awed rapture

At beauty reflecting the sun

Each diamond that is captured

In her tears over her no one.

She clutches them to her chest

Ev’n as they’re whisked away

Her one-night stand or noble guest

That her bitter words have slain.

She feels just like a monster,

As we still stand in awe.

She wonders what it cost her,

As she feels so cracked and raw.

She wipes the blood from off her hands,

Amazed that it’s her own,

Yet, as she wipes, the pool expands,

We watch and see the bone.

She pulls the cloth pooled in their mouth,

And wonders how it happened

Their argument had quick gone south,

And now, his face has slackened.

She clutches him, her own abuser,

Not one-time guest, but love,

She cries in grief, her own accuser,

The cloth was her silk glove.

He pushed her as an accident,

That’s how her bone was broken,

And now her blood’s her sacrament,

For her scarring words spoiled spoken.

Once was a peaceful opera night,

A marriage to be saved,

If only they didn’t ever fight,

She’d not have to be brave.

So I repeat, she is the moon,

Shadowed and alone,

And bleeding, lifeless, she now swoons

With her lover in their home.

How Can You Love Your Abusers?

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It’s more than just forgiveness-

You might not have even forgiven,

After all they did to you,

You just can’t heal quite yet-

But you love them,

Thinking about them fondly,

Defending them when they’re missing,

Writing letters in your brain, 

Things you can never tell them

Because they’d just be back

With their eyes and smiles and words,

Their hands groping for you or your sanity;

You lost track a while ago the difference

Cause it feels you’ve lost both.

To my abusers:

I’ve never stopped caring about you,

Just us. 

I never stopped hoping your life turns out, 

Just stopped asking. 

I’ve never hated you, even when you hurt me, 

Just couldn’t stay.

Let’s See What We Can Smell Now

Peppermint, onions, oranges,

All sharp in their own sense

To tickle with knives

Or the writing end of a quill.

Spicy-sweet candy,

So layered you can smell the stripes,

Spiraling you into euphoria

Shooting through your nose

And tingling your occipital lobe.

Pungency of bad breath,

Also layered to assault our senses

With acrid points of muddy foods

That pierce our sinuses

And wrinkle our noses.

Energy in a package,

Dizzying and flash-popping

Behind my eyes, up my nerves,

Sweetness cloaked in sour,

Stabbing nonetheless.

Peppermint, onion, orange-

The only things Covid has allowed

To enter my nose

And puncture my brain.

We All Have Monsters

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When I was a child,

I had a monster as my friend.

He was as tall as a doorway,

With mud-streak fur

And a row of front teeth

That would stick out

As he tried to grab and eat me.

I’d yell at him,

Turning on the light,

And he’d run away to darkness,

To his family that lived

In the basement room far away.

I went there once,

Terrified for my life,

But monsters don’t live in the light.

Now I am grown,

And I still have monsters:

Unemployment, intolerance,

Bigotry, and old age.

They chase me down,

And I’m stuck in the race.

I can’t just yell at them this time;

They thrive in the light

And murder big dreams.

We all share these monsters,

But it doesn’t make them

Easier to face or less scary;

And we can’t really share them

Others don’t want to know,

But we hide in dark rooms from them.

The Dragon’s Eye in the Wall

The dragon’s eye in the wall

Stares back at me

Tells me all it can recall.

My heart feels so small

And to this muse, I speak

The dragon’s eye in the wall.

It knows each rise and fall

Of those with high pedigree

Tells me all it can recall.

It peers out to the hall

And hears the rustling trees—

The dragon’s eye in the wall.

The lines teachers would scrawl

It says might be the key 

Tells me all it can recall.

And so I now withdrawal

Before hearing more decrees

The dragon’s eye in the wall.

Tells me all it can recall.

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